


How not to raise a siren baby

by Miss_Mei



Series: Random GHY/BYT X JXB/ZY shorts [5]
Category: Chinese Actor RPF, S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (TV), S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (TV) RPF
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Gao Hanyu/Ji Xiaobing Character Combinations, Hanyu has a rock problem and tries to solve all their problems with rocks bless him, I blame Gao hot Hanyu for this whole au series, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, No Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Gao Hanyu/Bottom Ji Xiaobing, gay siren husbands find baby and accidentally adopt it, parenting struggles, siren au, sirens do a lot of human things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29383290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Mei/pseuds/Miss_Mei
Summary: Silly siren Xiaobing and his rock lifting hubby find a niosy and very interruptive siren baby abandoned in their favourite scenic spot, so they take it home, and attempt to raise it as their child. Unfortunately, whole fish are not manageable for toothless siren babies to eat, rocks are not suitable toys for babies, and the two have no idea how to keep Xiao Qing alive. They manage, and nearly murder Bai Lu with cuteness in the process.
Relationships: Gao Hanyu/Ji Xiaobing
Series: Random GHY/BYT X JXB/ZY shorts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136468





	How not to raise a siren baby

**Author's Note:**

> Xiaobing looked intensely at the wriggling, whining baby on their bed, and pretended that he actually knew what to do for a little bit, but he still had no idea what the child wanted. "She's bored, we fed and cleaned her, so toys are next before sleep. Have a small rock Xiao Qing, I like rocks when I'm bored, you can lift it up and down.", Hanyu remarked quietly, handing the little girl the pretty red rock he picked out.
> 
> Qing proceeded to look at the rock a bit, then let go of it, which was bad because it fell on her cheek and made her cry. "I know you like rocks, but they might not be the safest toy for a freshly hatched baby Yu-Er.", the blonde haired siren replied, rocking the child in his arms. His husband nodded, and it was then that they knew raising the orphan was gonna be harder than they thought.

Hanyu had just been on the weekly hunt, which was successful as usual with a good catch of twenty small whitetails and a medium sized shark, and was swimming back to his cave to pack a picnic and blanket for him and Xiaobing to sit comfortably at their favourite scenic spot. The pretty blue siren had a shift at the nursery, but in ten sea minutes he would be free to visit the coral reef for a relaxing lunch, like they did after every hunt had finished and the community had a general break. A blanket woven out of old rope and a seaweed basket of whiteheads later, the rock lifting siren went to the nursery, where his beautiful, aquamarine eyed siren husband hugged a giggling kraken baby goodbye. It was a common sight, blonde hair clutched in a chubby siren baby hand or a little green tentacle, and his mate loved his job, but did like to come home to peace once the babies got picked up, and he could have  _ adult _ time. “Xiaobing, your beefcakey fish charming is here to whisk you away to the reefs for a romantic moonlit serenade.”, Bai Lu teased, looking him right in the eye like she was 100% serious, yet made fairytale jokes about his very real marriage.

Siren wife book club, organised by none other than enlightened wife Xiaobing, had been going on for a few moon cycles on a circle of rocks by the beach at night, and each week, the old bookstore laoshi made sure to leave a new book on the beach in return for a sack of pearls. His handsome hubby helped him find a dry paper and ink to write to Da laoshi, who was surprised when he snuck down to the beach for their first meeting, to see his student now blonde haired, blue eyed and fish tailed, with a hard looking fish man, but a string of raw pearls could encourage anyone to believe the impossible. The last book left on the shore wrapped in oilcloth had been a new fairytale about a princess who got a happy new life because she married a prince, hence the constant fish prince Hanyu references since.

The coral reef was even more beautiful than before, lit up with firefish and harp fish, which made an ideal atmosphere for a date. Xiaobing was lying in his husband’s lap, being fed peeled neighbouring shrimp that should have decided to stop somewhere else for a nap, as the harp fish swam around in circles and made a serenading type of tune. “Sing for me Yu-Er? Our fishy friends always welcome another talent, and your voice is so special, only I can have the privilege of hearing it.”, he asked cutely, blinking his big blue eyes in such a way that he could already see the pink tint of the other siren’s ears. Hanyu’s brain turned into a pile of mush whenever he saw those pretty eyes, so he had to start singing, or he might run out of rational brain if Bing-Er kept blinking his long eyelashes at him. However, a shrill cry from behind the tall rocks stopped his song from being received properly, and that wasn’t normal. No one dared to interrupt the most lovey dovey siren couple while they were in their date spot, except for something awful and unlawful! 

As the top hunter, it was up to him to attack the intruder, but when the white tailed siren swam over the rock, there was a different kind of threat behind the rock. This was a half hatched siren egg, and a little angry head was popping out of the speckled shell making lots of noise, which meant they had actually found a baby. When Xiaobing found the courage within his still weedy body to see what horrors had disturbed his shrimp feeding before sex session, and found his big strong Hanyu cradling a newly hatched sirenling like it would break at any second. “Baby siren, not a monster, we should ask Bai Lu what to do Bing-Er. I’d know how to deal with a monster, but this isn’t our area of expertise at all.”, his husband explained , his confidence wavering more each time he looked at the little siren. It was very intimidating for the blonde too, since he’d been an only child and never had any contact with the village of children, so they really did have to abandon lunch and go back to the nursery to ask the siren wives what to do with a baby.

Unfortunately, Bai Lu and Leo were visiting relatives a few hours away on short notice, and had taken all their children with them too, so it was basically up to Hanyu and Xiaobing to apply basic human survival principles one by one until the baby was happy. The dumb blonde had gone to the kitchen area of the cave straight away, to hack at something presumably for the egg baby to eat, while the rock lifter made a nice soft nest of scavenged silk, feathers and their picnic blanket, for the tiny siren to wriggle comfortably on. He decided that it was of the utmost importance to give their house guest a name before anything else, because of the likelihood of them having, or choosing. to keep the infant was high and it would be rude to never name her, so the hunter thought very seriously. The little scattering of hair on her head looked blondish in color, and when Hanyu thought of blonde, his cheeky blonde mate was naturally the only thing in his brain. “Qing, Xiao Qing. Xiaobing, I’ve named this monster Xiaoqing.”, he announced proudly, as his husband came closer to the nest with a half coconut shell of white tail and some coconut milk. 

The pretty blue tailed siren was happy to see his lover relaxing and letting down his guard, because that meant they might have a chance at parenting after all. “I scaled two whitetails and hacked into a coconut for milk, this should stop Qing from being hungry, then we can work the rest out from there, while she sleeps in her little nest.”, he replied confidently. Except that confidence was short lived, because the sirenling spat the first mouthful of food out with no hesitation, and Xiaobing’s smile drooped dramatically. Hanyu picked up a clean rock instead of moping, and started to mash the fish into a more smooth, toothless baby friendly texture, which did cause his husband to raise an eyebrow admittedly, until the pretty siren caught onto the baby food idea. After mashing the flaked whitetail and coconut milk into a paste that almost resembled the mashed vegetables the once human siren remembered eating, Xiaoqing was more than able to swallow little slips of fish mash, making satisfied noises with each mouthful fed to her. Upon close inspection, the siren baby had almost exactly the same coloured aquamarine eyes, but hers were more azure than aquamarine, and the blonde fluff turned out to be a little darker, a mix between Hanyu’s hazelnut brown hair and silvery grey eyes, and Xiobing’s green blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. 

No one said anything, but both sirens had the same kind of thought. The thought that destiny meant them to find orphaned Xiaoqing, and gave them the perfect adoptive child to complete their little mismatched family. The baby siren was still wriggling furiously though, despite having been fed, not being dirty at all, so Xiaobing looked intensely at the wriggling, whining baby on their bed, and pretended that he actually knew what to do for a little bit, but he still had no idea what the child wanted. "She's bored, we’ve fed her fish mash and don’t need to clean her, so toys are next before sleep. Have a small rock Xiao Qing, I like rocks when I'm bored, you can lift it up and down.", Hanyu remarked quietly, handing the little girl the pretty red rock he picked out.

Qing proceeded to look at the rock a bit, it was a pretty rock to be fair, then let go of it, which was bad because it fell on her cheek and made her cry. "I know you like rocks, and I admit they are very useful for most things, but they might not be the safest toy for a freshly hatched baby Yu-Er.", the blonde haired siren replied, rocking the child in his arms. His husband nodded, and it was then that they knew raising the orphan was gonna be harder than they thought, but together, anything was possible. Xiaobing’s slim, milky hands automatically entwined with his husband's strong and tanned hands, as they kissed intensely, somehow managing to roll over to their mattress in the process, into the throes of pleasure. As long as the pretty blue siren had his handsome silver tailed siren, they knew that however awkward raising Xiaoqing was, it would be fun and very rewarding to see her grow up. For now though, the siren wife had a husband to love and make pearls with, or how would he play for the next book, or make nice accessories for their adopted daughter?

_ It didn’t occur at that moment that having sex while looking after a child was probably not the most responsible parenting method, yet Xiaoqing seemed to get the idea that her new dadddies weren’t producing fun toys anytime soon, and went to sleep. She continued to understand this, and never once interrupted the lord Pangu knows what Pa and Ba did.  _

Leo and Bai Lu popped round to the cave when they got back, because they heard from the doctor that Hanyu and Xiaobing had been looking for them, which was a bit weird considering that the soppy siren couple kept mostly to themselves. Worrying something had gone wrong, Leo swam round as quickly as possible, with his wife following closely behind with a seaweed basket of flowers, to find a cute little sirenling resting in a cosy circle made by the couple’s entwined silver and aquamarine tails, and no sign of any chaos at all. “Lu-jie, Leo-ge, meet Xiaoqing. We found her egg abandoned near our date spot, and we tried to ask for help, but she’s settled in quickly. For some reason, Yu-Er always takes his naps just as she thinks of napping, like they read each other's minds.”, Xiaobing whispered. His husband was indeed fast asleep on a silk covered rock, as the little siren rested her head on the tails, and that made Bai Lu melt into a pile of mush. How did the muddle headed newcomer and lone hunter become so domestic in the days she wasn’t there?


End file.
